Jill S. McIntyre

Life isn't about finding yourself. It's about creating your self.

Buckwheat Sourdoughnuts



Buckwheat Sourdoughnuts

Yield: about a dozen doughnuts, give or take
Prep: 5 to 10 (active time) mins
Cook: 10 (frying in batches) mins
Ready In: 15 mins

•1 cup proofed sourdough starter
•1/2 cup buttermilk (not ultrapasteurized)
•2 1/2 cups white wheat flour (We use Wheat Montana)
•1/2 cup buckwheat flour
•1/2 cup grass-fed butter
• dash unrefined sea salt
•1/2 cup unrefined cane sugar
•1/4 cup ground cinnamon
• coconut oil, pastured lard or grass-fed tallow for frying


Sourdough Starter

1. Stir 1 cup sourdough starter with 1/2 cup buttermilk, 2 1/2 cups white wheat flour, and 1/2 cup buckwheat flour until it forms a ball. Allow the dough to ferment at room temperature overnight. Punch down the dough, flour your hands and working surface then knead in 1/2 cup butter. Allow dough to rise again until doubled in bulk. (about 1 to 2 hours). Roll out the dough on a floured work surface until it’s about 1/2 to 3/4 of an inch thick, then cut out the doughnuts.

Sourdough starter ready to mix with buckwheat and white wheat flour.


2.Heat enough coconut oil, lard or tallow in a cast-iron skillet to fill it by one-inch.

3.While the fat is heating, pour 1/2 cup unrefined cane sugar and 1/4 cup ground cinnamon into a wide bowl and set it aside until the doughnuts are finished frying.

4.When the fat has reached about 350 degrees Fahrenheit, place doughnuts into the skillet – without overcrowding – and fry them about 1 to 2 minutes per side. Remove the doughnuts from the skillet. Put on cooling rack, allowing them to cool slightly before rolling them in the cinnamon-sugar mixture.

Buckwheat Sourdoughtnuts frying in coconut oil .

Mmm! Buckwheat Sourdoughnuts ready to eat!

Book Review: Sunshine and Moonbeams: a Treasury of Poems and Prayers is a poetic harvest!


s and m


Sunshine and Moonbeams: a Treasury of Poems and Prayers is a poetic harvest!

By Jeremy Fitzgerald

It would seem a great irony that poetry, like its origin in verse, requires any explanation whatsoever.  Nonetheless, poetry, or further, verse, and even deeper, song, is also of thought of as the most beautiful of the basic, universal expressions.  Whether you are a fan of poetry or not, the magic of verse oriented mnemonics has been in almost every human brain since “the mouse ran up the clock.”

Consider then, Sunshine and Moonbeams: A Treasury of Poems and Prayers, written and collected by Jill S. McIntyre, illustrated by Rebecka L. Sasich, a new volume of verse, descended from the brood of Mother Goose, to rekindle a love for nature, earth, seasons and spirituality. Uniquely illustrated in a vivid Bauhaus style, each artwork creates a delightful visual tapestry that provides each verse with a depth of imagery re-defining the term “eye-candy,” and reminding the reader that as early as Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales, life experience gathered, planted and sewn in poetry and verse has been marked out with glorious etchings from an illuminators hand. One of the great evocative qualities of poetry being inherent its ability to move an artful hand to canvas.

Yet what is the purpose of poetic convention?  What is it about meter and rhyme that instill us with recollection of sequence, image and melody? Truly, this is a question for the birds, set forth by Father Sky, Mother Nature or both!  Is poetry at its basic best, like the psalms and lamentations of scripture, humanity’s best effort at acknowledging, praising and connecting with those natural forces humans cannot fully comprehend? Or, dare I say it: our gods? If so, then what of our praises and tribute to the figure of our goddess instincts, our mother nature, our mother necessity? Indeed, many poets of old created odes to nature herself, celebrating the spirituality of the seasons, or perhaps further, the seasons of our spirituality.

Throughout time, the great myths of the universe have always involved, not only the tales, rhymes and songs of the male gods, but also the deeds, verses and poems dedicated to the female. One of the oldest creation myths goes even deeper to describe the evolution of our natural universe as a result of the love and passion between Gaia (Mother Earth) and Uranus (Father Sky).  In the realms of verse and spirituality the female manifestation can take many forms, high or low, but the most honorable form, the most feared and lovely form crowned has been that of the goddess. A specifically female celebration of a form infused with the powers of creation, harvest and nature itself, which adds a beautiful harmony to the male, mercurial essence of god and sky.  Originally dubbed as “a Treasury of Poems and Prayers for Children of the Goddess,Sunshine and Moonbeams is a warmly welcome addition to the canon of rhymes for children inspired by, in the words of Arthur author Marc Brown, “Thomas Fleet of Pudding Lane in Boston” who collected and published the “melodies” of his mother in law, the eternally beloved “Mother Goose,” in 1719.

It is no question that great visual art can emote a variety of emotion, both spiritual and verbal.  The illustrations that enliven the background of this treasury, as created by Rebecka L. Sasich and rendered in tribute to the spirit of Lyonel Feininger, the first faculty member of the famous Bauhaus group, give McIntyre’s verses the whimsical, kaleidoscopic vibrancy that they playfully demand, reminding us that poetry, like its sibling, song, is an art form that begs to be performed aloud, as the imagery converses with our souls in a universal language.

In her book, WEE RHYMES, author Jane Yolen presents an even richer rationale for poetic connectivity in her introduction, A Letter from Two Grandmothers:

“Rhymes are our earliest cultural artifacts.  Children who are given poetry early will have a fullness inside.  Mother Goose rhymes, baby verse – that kind of singsong, sing-along rhythm — is as important as a heartbeat.  Add pictures to them, and you have the whole early childhood package.  Just add the love.”

Which brings me to my concluding praise for Sunshine and Moonbeams: A Treasury of Poems and Prayers, a true chest full of original and archival verses for spiritual children of all ages.  These poems represent a fifteen year labor of love, achieved by two women who are earthly goddesses in their own right, as artists, cousins, daughters, and mother.  In faith, the very ribbon on this delightful poetic package comes from its original inspiration, the authors daughter, Emily Owenn McIntyre, now a creative artist on her own journey, which may have begun when, at four years old, she first wrote the verse that inspired this “treasury” in 1998 (see dedications):  Moonbeams, they glitter like stars!  Moonbeams, they shine on flowers!  Moonbeams, they sparkle on me! Sunshine and Moonbeams: A Treasury of Poems and Prayers is guaranteed to sparkle in the heart of every reader.  Available now on amazon.com.

Delightful Dandelions: Part 3–The Flowers

Delightful Dandelion 2


Flowers–even allergy sufferers can appreciate a beautiful bloom!  Not only do flowers add color and life to our yard and homes, but many varieties of flowers are edible.  Delightful Dandelions  are no exception.  In Delightful Dandelions: Part 3,  you will learn the ins and outs of  harvesting/foraging the dandelion flower for recipes .


Harvesting and foraging

After doing extensive research, I found that  the “right” time to harvest your Delightful Dandelions will vary depending upon the recipe:  Dandelion Fritters  require full blooms while Dandelion Capers only use the bud.   To harvest the bloom or bud, just scout out the appropriate stage of flowering and pluck flower or bud from stem.  To easily access just the petals, other recipes call for the flowers to be picked and dried. For this use, pick your Delightful Dandelions in the morning while they are still closed.  Twist the petals away from the stem.  I like to use my colander to gather the flowers in so I can immediately wash them back in the kitchen.  And always remember to pick dandelions you know for certain haven’t been sprayed with herbicide.

Delightful Dandelion 3

  (FYI: other flowers look very similar to dandelions.  Check out this chart to see the difference)

After you have washed and drained your foraged harvest of dandelions, lay them out to drain on a clean dish towel or paper towels. The drying process takes 2-3 days depending on how well you have drained the washed flowers.   I let my flowers dry about one week before using them .

Delighful Dandelion 13

After they are dry, the green “brack” part of the flower can be removed and composted.

When the Delightful Dandelions are dry and the bracks removed, store the petals in a jar or zip lock.

Delighful Dandelion 28

Now they are ready to use! Try them in Dandelion Muffins!

Dandelion Muffins

Delighful Dandelion Muffins 4

2 cup unbleached Wheat Montana flour

2 tsp baking powder

1 cup dried dandelion petals

1/4 cup  sunflower oil

4 Tbs Cooks honey

1 local egg

1 1/2 cup (minus 2 Tbs)  Kalispell Kremery whole milk

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Combine dry ingredients in a large bowl.  Mix.  Add the dandelion petals. Mix.  In a separate medium-sized bowl, combine milk, honey, and oil.  Beat in the egg.  Add liquid ingredients to dry.   Do not over stir! The batter should be a little lumpy.  Pour into muffin tins that have been greased or in muffin papers in muffin tin ( I love the re-usable silicone ones!) .  Place in the oven.  Check for readiness after 15 minutes by poking in a toothpick –if it comes out clean, the muffins are done.  (The regular muffins took about 30 mins and the mini ones took about 20 minutes. But remember: ALL ovens vary.)   Cool on racks and enjoy!

(Makes 12 dozen regular muffins + 12 mini muffins)

Next time in our Delightful Dandelion series–the root.

Delightful Dandelions: Part 2–The Greens


Every Springtime, I look forward to the Delightful Dandelions to make their appearance.   For several years now, I have been foraging in my front and back yard for greens to add to salads, stir fry, and smoothies.  Recently I was telling an acquaintance of mine how I look forward to this foraging every year.  Her response?  “Are things really that bad financially for you?”  After I wiped the shocked look off my face, I explained how dandelions are a super food that just so happen to grow in abundance in my yard because I refuse to spray them with harmful pesticides.  I will definitely direct her to this article series. Part One gave a brief introduction to my love affair with the dandelion and some gardening tips In Part 2 –The Greens,  will discuss with you ,dear readers,  on the  foraging, preparation, and storage of Delightful Dandelions‘ greens.


Nutrition Facts And Health Benefits of The Delightful Dandelion

Dandelion health benefits

  • Dandelion greens, flowers, and roots contain valuable phytonutrients  that  have anti-oxidant and health promoting and disease prevention properties.
  • Greens have  just 45 calories per 100 g.  The greens are also good source of dietary fiber (provide about 9% of RDA per 100 g).
  • The  root as well as other plant parts contains compounds  Taraxacin (bitter glycosides that are used as a diuretic). Further, the root also contains inulin ( a natural storage carbohydrate) andLevulinic acid.  These two  compounds work together for various therapeutic properties of the dandelion.
  • Delightful Dandelion Greens provide  10161 IU of vitamin-A per 100 g, about 338% of daily-recommended intake, one of the highest source of vitamin-A among culinary herbs. Vitamin A is fat-soluble vitamin and anti-oxidant (required for maintaining healthy mucus membranes, skin and vision).
  • Greens are full of flavonoids such as carotene-β, carotene-α, lutein, cryptoxanthin and zeaxanthin. Flavonoids are known for their antioxidant and anti-inflammatory properties.
  • Dandelion Greens are  good source of  potassium, calcium, manganese, iron, magnesium, folic acid, riboflavin, pyridoxine, niacin, vitamin -E and vitamin-C .
  • Dandelion greens provide 58% of daily-recommended levels of vitamin-C.
  • Dandelion is probably the richest herbal sources of vitamin K; provides about 650% of DRI.




Dandelion Greens can be picked throughout the spring and summer.  Some people recommend picking the leaves of the Delightful Dandelions before the flowers open because the leaves are less bitter.  I personally like them either way.   Chose a spot that you know for certain hasn’t been sprayed with pesticides, herbicides, or fungicides.  I like to bring my storage container with to put the greens in so I save a step when I rinse the leaves.  Since we share the earth with a number of beautiful creatures who also eat dandelions, take care not to clean out an entire area.




Dandelion Greens, like other greens and lettuces, store longer if not washed previously before refrigeration. They will last about a week to a week and a half in your crisper or the bottom shelf in your fridge.



Dandelion Greens and Eggs Recipe

2 cups foraged dandelion greens (rinsed)

5 organic mini bell peppers (sliced–about 3/4 cup)

1/2 small organic onion (chopped)

3 TBS Amish  salted butter

2 local eggs



1. Melt butter in a skillet over medium heat.

2. Add the peppers and onions and cook until onions are all most translucent; then toss in the Dandelion Greens



3. Slide vegetables and greens aside and add the eggs.

4. Cook eggs to your liking and enjoy!

Recipe make 1-2 servings

300 calories/serving, 4 g carb,  29 g fat (could be less if you use and alternative oil or cooking spray, I just prefer butter),  7 g protein

More Delightful Dandelions’ Greens Recipes

Liver Tonic Smoothie

Grilled Brie, Fig Jam, and Dandelion Greens Sandwhich

Cauliflower and Dandelion Soup

Dandelion Pesto



Next week in our Delightful Dandelions series,  we will discuss that beautiful yellow flower!






Delightful Dandelions: Part 1

dandelion poem


Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved dandelions!  I would pick large bouquets, make flower chains, make wishes as I blew the seeds into the air, and admire the tenacity of the dandelion that grows through sidewalk cracks .   I never understood why people had to kill their whole lawn to get rid of these delightful flowers.   In recent years, I have seen a resurgence in appreciation of dandelions by fellow foragers with headlines such as: The Many Health Benefits of Dandelion, 16 Ways to Eat Dandelion, and Save the Dandelions. Save the Bees.  to name a few.  

dandelion meme 1

dandelion meme 2

dandelion meme 3

Dandelions are everywhere these days!  This series will give you all the facts you need to know about Dandelions as well as showcase how to forage and prepare those front yard dandelions into everything from bread to sauteed greens as well as wine and tea..so stay tuned!

Dandelion Facts

Taraxacum officinale from the family Asteraceae, otherwise known as the Dandelion (French for lion’ tooth)  are native to Eurasia and North America. This common “weed” is entirely edible from flower to leaf to root.  Dandelions have  small flowers formed together into a composite “flower head” ; and a  single flower in a head is called a floret. Like  Many Taraxacum species, the dandelion  produce seeds asexually by a process called apomixis  ( the seeds are produced without pollination). Dandelion offspring, then , are genetically identical to their parent, i.e. clones.

In the Garden

Dandelions grow in Zones 3-10, and do well in partial shade to full sun. This perennial will grow in most soils that are moist and fertile with a pH of 6-7.0.  Some dandelions can reach up to 12 inches in height but average around 6 to 8 inches tall.   If you choose to grow your own rather than forage, choose seeds from a large leaf variety from a specialized seed catalog. Sow the seeds directly in the early spring.  In order to harvest roots, add plenty of compost or manure to your garden each spring to help loosen the soil.  Planted dandelions will flower in late spring and are usually free of pests and diseases.  When you plant dandelions, you may need to do some thinning as they will have the tendency to take over your garden.   The seed heads and individual seeds can be saved easily in an envelope.

Outsidepride Dandelion – 5000 Seeds

To be continued….. 


Embracing My Inner Kitchen Witch

I am a full-fledged Kitchen Witch and proud of it!  Here are twenty ways I embrace my kitchen witchery:

1.I love the magic I can create with my hands when I am in the kitchen.  From simple suppers to fancy birthday cakes, I come alive when I am kitchen.

2. I love being in my backyard garden harvesting vegetables and herbs for dinner that night, I get so excited to get my seed catalog in the mail every year so I can begin to plan out the upcoming season.

3. I can pour over my collection of vintage Betty Crocker for hours, relishing in the kitschy dinner party ideas.

4.Baking is “my thing”, but I love the stove top just as much.

5.I have my gadgets and power tools.

6. I love sharing my love of cooking and gardening with my daughters and nieces and nephews.

7. I know the healing power of foods for the body and the soul.

8.  Have you seen my Pinterest page?

9. I write my own recipes and have fun modifying others.

10. I don’t cook professionally, but dream of owning a food truck.

11. I would rather cook at home than go out to eat.  Dining out is a rare occasion around my house.

12. I have been paid for my sweets before.

13. I am usually first to sign up to bring treats for bake sales.

14. I have drying herbs hanging from my dining room ceiling and a laundry basket full of spaghetti squash stored in my home office.

15.  I was a member of allrecipes.com before the Dinner Spinner app.

16. I meal plan to an extent but like to go with the flow too.

17. I can make a 5 course meal out of thin air.

18. I was in charge of coffee hour for two years at a local church before I got also got sick of being in charge of the dishes as well.

19.  I am not afraid to order gourmet foods off of Amazon.

20. I come from a long line of great cooks many of whom never cooked professionally either.

The Name Game

I often get asked how we came up with our business name, Udaguru Enterprises.  I cannot take personal credit for the uniqueness of our name.  My husband had been meditating on  the pathway of his life and told himself he would be willing to follow any leader who would show him the pathway to success.  The Universe replied back to him, “YOU are the Guru.”   Who the guru?  You the guru!  In offhanded street vernacular, “U da guru!” And thus Udaguru Enterprises, was born.

Gurus come in various forms.  We all can learn something from someone.  We can also learn from ourselves, our past experiences, likes, desires, and goals.  We all have the power within us to lead ourselves to success.  Yes, it is important and often necessary to seek guidance or knowledge from others.  Just don’t forget that often the answers you seek can come from within.

20 Facts About Me

Hello, dear Reader! It has been too long since my last post. I’ll admit it. I thought it would be easy peasy to keep up with a blog and an infant. Boy, was I wrong. I kept thinking it would be tomorrow that I would pick up my pen or open up my laptop. Tomorrow…and tomorrow..and tomorrow. So many tomorrows have passed that my infant is now a toddler. I guess it is finally “tomorrow” and time to get reacquainted.

1.  I like writing lists except the kind that gets washed off my hand before I get the chance to use it.
2. I believe in fairies.
3. I love riding on the Tilt-a-Whirl.
4. I am an accidental gardener. I’m not sure how I get things to grow, but they do.
5. I love collecting recipes and cookbooks, especially vintage Betty Crocker.
6. I have a rather large extended family.
7. I am a long time  fan of Days of Our Lives.

8.I drink my coffee black 98% of the time.  The rest of the time make mine a double mocha yes on the whipped cream!

9. I am long over due for a new tattoo.

10.  I love rocks.

11. I gotta dance!

12.  I put my lime in the coconut. 

13. I need chocolate in my life.

14.  I eventually put my laundry away.

15, I make up songs to help me find things I have misplaced.  It works every time.

16.  Pharmaceutical commercials freak me out a bit.  All those side effects!

17. My birthday is on October 17ith. I do accept presents.

18.  I bleed blue and gold! Go Cats Go!

19. I can and will sing along to John Denver songs.

20. I really enjoyed writing this list. And the best part is, it won’t wash off.

Having a Baby? Here, Take This Crap!

crappy baby gear2


In this modern world, having a baby means needing a lot of “stuff”.  The baby industry rakes in billions of dollars each year selling everything from carseat/stroller combos to teeny tiny hangers for wee little dresses.   Parents and well-wishers spend a lot of money on that new little bundle of joy for both the necessities and extras.  One of my favorite baby related websites  has a handy dandy calculator to estimate your costs for baby’s first year –not including your hospital or birth center stay.  Since my husband and I do not require childcare, our total comes to a modest $6,929 for our daughter’s first year of life. Those who need to pay for day care will spend over $10,000 for their baby in that first year!  Needless to say, gifts, discounts, and second-hand items are a necessity for most parents.

Our family is blessed to have a large extended family and amazing friends and acquaintances. Everyone was so excited that we were adding on to our family after 22 years! Our first born just turned 22 this year, but that’s another story for another blog post on another day.  Although we had saved some very special outfits, toys, and books, we needed everything, and I mean everything for our second child.  The outpouring of gifts from our circle of family and friends was incredible.  I will always be thankful for the “kick-start” for daughter 2.0.  We seriously did not need to buy any disposable diapers for our baby’s first 3 months of life, and she has a nice stack of blankets and lots of cute clothes in different sizes.  She did receive waaaaaay to many baby hats; and by waaaaaay to many, I mean about 20 hats. Once, she got to be about a month old she couldn’t stand wearing those hats no matter how stylish they were.  **A little helpful hint: don’t gift a lot of hats to one baby if she is a spring or summer baby because unless you live at the North Pole she isn’t going to need that many.

We were also gifted a lot of great second-hand items: clothes, a little tub, and a baby play mat gym.  I absolutely love thrifting and finding great deals myself.  When a friend found a free baby swing on an online garage sale page, I was so excited!  Our oldest daughter loved hers, and I was hoping a swing would be something our youngest would love as well.  After our daughter was a couple of weeks old, we decided to take the swing out and put it together.  Well it went together alright–all except the safety straps.  They were no where to be found. Who the hell gives away broken baby stuff?  To spare my friend’s feelings, I never told her.   She has no children and probably didn’t even think about it, and I know she didn’t take them off.  They were without a doubt missing when she went to pick up the baby swing.

But now what?!  We knew a swing would be another comfort to offer our newborn.  Struggling with the necessity versus luxury dilemma, we held off on purchasing one.  Then a co-worker of my husband mentioned she had a swing she was getting rid of and offered it to him.  She said all it needed was batteries .  (Battery operated baby swings were not a thing when our first born was a baby.  You had to crank it up to get it to go).  My husband brought it home, and we replaced the batteries. Aaaaanndd ….nothing.  We double checked to make sure the batteries were in properly and turned it on again.  Still nothing.  Sigh…. This woman gave us a broken swing.  “Having a baby? Here, take this crap!”

Lesson?  Be wary of free baby equipment.  I know that used car seats are a bit sketchy, legally and liability speaking.  Used swings with no straps? Definitely sketchy.  Free items?  Make sure you can test them out before taking them home or don’t take them.   If you have baby gear you want to gift to someone, make sure it isn’t crappy baby gear. You would think it should be common sense.  But my senses are telling me that some people just want someone else to figure out what to do with their broken crap. Whatever happened to the defunct baby swings?  Well, I have to sheepishly admit that my husband dropped them off  in a stealthy manner in the dark of night outside of Goodwill knowing they have a giant dumpster for broken or unsaleable items.

As I sit here in my living room writing this, our daughter is peacefully napping in her swing we purchased shortly after the second one was found to be a piece of crap.  It was $80 dollars well spent and came with a cord so we wouldn’t need batteries to operate it, and I solemnly swear not to give it away for free if it breaks down.baby swing

P.S.  And if anyone has any suggestions how to transition our 6 month old from swing naps to naps in her crib that would be great!



No Shame in This Mom’s Game

Calliope Jane & Me

Calliope Jane & Me

I recently became a mommy again in March of this year. I say “again” because my one and only up until now just celebrated her 22nd birthday! Let me tell you, parenting twenty-two years ago was much different than it is now. First, the hospital setting in labor and delivery was much more relaxed and not as clinical looking. We even had a small sofa in our birthing room! Plus, I was given the option of having my daughter room with me. I was also offered and took advantage of lactation counseling services, something that just wasn’t done here after giving birth to my first-born. Mind you, this was the same hospital where I gave birth to my oldest. Further, technology is so much more advanced in 2016 than it was in 1994. I was so excited to have ultrasounds done with 3-D imaging!   Consumer products such as cell phones, computers with Internet access and Wi-Fi, and digital cameras are found in most American households.  Oh, the pleasure I got from online shopping from my baby register on Amazon from my tablet and deleting unflattering pregnancy photos from my smart phone! This was not the case in 1994.  Here’s something more. Twenty years ago, I hadn’t even heard of the term “Mommy Shaming”. Sure, I would see the mom cliques during school functions when my oldest was growing up. And yeah, I would get a sideways glance from another mommy from time to time, which I usually attributed to being ten years younger and looking it than most of the moms in my daughter’s class. (My husband and I started our family when we were both 21 years old). Sometimes, I would accredit those looks to my obvious baking skills when I brought my offerings to the class bake sales.  Or, those looks could have also been out of a mixture of curiosity or disgust because we are an interracial family.  Needless to say, those fleeting looks did make me feel uncomfortable.  Yet as uncomfortable as I may have felt then, it is nothing compared to the feelings that mommies, including myself, have when another mom out right shames them in a public forum.


Now,  fast forward to 2016. Today, the majority of Mommy Shaming is done from behind a screen and is no better than the cyber-bullying we teach our children to look out for and report.  Google the term “Mommy Shaming”, and you’ll get over 500,000 related results.   In just 4 short months, I have observed the different ways to shame another mommy:


  1. By comparison such as my-child-versus-yours, MommyA-versus-MommyB, or this-way-versus-that-way of doing things

2.  Name calling i.e. thigh-gap crew, sanctimommies, crunchy

3. Acting holier than thou (where the term sanctimommy comes into play and is closely related to #1)

4. Posting articles and memes and tagging a mom you know parents a little differently than you do.


Sadly, before my wee one has even figured out the art of sitting up on her own, I have been on the receiving end of Mommy Shaming; most recently with the double whammy of my-child-versus-yours mixed in with an article to back this other mommy’s claim.  The reason?  I decided to start feeding my child her first foods.  In this case, I had posted a picture of my baby with a happy, messy face.  She really did enjoy that organic oatmeal.  I knew she was curious about foods.  I know she can sit with help of her Boppy Chair. I know that food is just for “fun”.  I know babies need either breastmilk or formula as their main source of nutrition.  What I didn’t know is that I would be shamed for feeding her an age appropriate food: “Ben* has never had baby food ” along with an article about baby-led weaning.  This woman and I have been acquaintances for a few years now.  In fact, her ex-husband and his family have been close family friends since we were children.  This other mommy is also a nurse, and often posts great articles that I read and comment positively on.  The article she included this time was also informative; but I am not weaning my daughter,  just letting her explore food. I am pretty sure this mommy didn’t even realize she had shamed me.  Yet, after comments from my mom, sisters, and girlfriends about how cute my little Sweet Pea was in that picture; this mommy had to put her two cents in about her way of doing things and information to back up her claims.   I just responded by telling her thanks for the article.  Thank goodness for my little sister!  She had my back like she always does and was quick to point out that some babies sleep better with a bit of solid food in their tummies.  (I love you, Kayla!).  But of course, the mommy (would she be considered a sanctimommy?) had to put her cents in and talk about lack of scientific evidence and blah, blah, blah.  Meanwhile, my sister is messaging me to make sure I am okay and to remind me that I am a great mommy and to do what ever works for my family.  To make a long story short, I ended up just deleting the original post because I didn’t want to deal with any more comments from the mommy shamer.

Mommy shaming has become so prevalent in our society that there are even trends in the shame game:

  1. Breastfeeding– vs. formula,  breastfeeding + formula, in public, cover or no cover, up to a year, more than a year
  2. Snacks– organic vs. non-organic snacks
  3. Parties– Pinterest perfect, store-bought vs. homemade, theme vs. no theme
  4. Mom Fashion and Hair– mom jeans, yoga pants, messy buns vs. coiffed hair, natural vs. make-up
  5. Working Mom vs. Stay at Home Mom (SAHM)
  6. Baby food– store bought vs. homemade, baby food vs. baby-led weaning
  7. Baby transportation– baby wearing vs. stroller or carrier

Seriously mommies, unless another mommy is abandoning, abusing or neglecting her child or allowing another person to abuse or neglect her child we don’t need to shame each other.  Are your children fed, clothed, given shelter, and loved? YES!  Are mine? YES!  We are all doing the best we know how on any given day.  My sister summed it perfectly, “What works for you, works for you!”



P.S. This article was not meant to shame my shamer. My story is included to illustrate a mild case of Mommy Shaming.

*Name has been changed.

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